Been reading other people's blogs, and keep realising that I've been neglecting my own for quite a long time! Well, I never have posted very regularly. I suppose since I have so few readers I never feel like it's worth it - I have a journal for writing for myself, if the blog is for other people and there aren't any other people then...what's the point, you know? But at the same time, nobody's going to start reading a blog that's never updated...so idk, we'll see where this goes. Maybe I'll start posting more often, maybe I'll still mainly to YT updates, maybe I'll find a nice balance of the two.
I guess the reason I feel I should be blogging is because, even if nobody reads it, the fact is that someone *might*, and that makes me in some way accountable. Like, if I put it out there that I'm using behaviours, for example, the mere fact that it's on the interwebz means I'm not stuck in my own shell not answering to anyone and not having to be honest with anyone else about what's going on. I suppose it would help if I knew for certain that it would get read, but even if it doesn't, it's still there in clear writing, and that means I can't ignore it.
Some accountability would probably be helpful right now. I tried joining MentorCONNECT but was distinctly underwhelmed, I might make a YT video on it because I'm interested to see if any of my viewers have had a similar experience, or a more positive one, and just generally what you guys think. I actually brought the book Beating Ana, written by the founder of MentorCONNECT and the reason I went on the site at all, with me after Christmas. But I haven't even looked at it. I have read some of another recovery book I downloaded onto my Kindle app, but not as much as I should.
Thing is, I'm not exactly relapsing...but I'm certainly not recovering. Not by miles. I suppose I'm trying to, but really, that's only my vague attitude - I'm not putting it into practice. And I need to DO something about it. And I don't think I could do that alone.
So, if you're there, let me know. Let's talk. Let's do this blogging shit!
I guess the reason I feel I should be blogging is because, even if nobody reads it, the fact is that someone *might*, and that makes me in some way accountable. Like, if I put it out there that I'm using behaviours, for example, the mere fact that it's on the interwebz means I'm not stuck in my own shell not answering to anyone and not having to be honest with anyone else about what's going on. I suppose it would help if I knew for certain that it would get read, but even if it doesn't, it's still there in clear writing, and that means I can't ignore it.
Some accountability would probably be helpful right now. I tried joining MentorCONNECT but was distinctly underwhelmed, I might make a YT video on it because I'm interested to see if any of my viewers have had a similar experience, or a more positive one, and just generally what you guys think. I actually brought the book Beating Ana, written by the founder of MentorCONNECT and the reason I went on the site at all, with me after Christmas. But I haven't even looked at it. I have read some of another recovery book I downloaded onto my Kindle app, but not as much as I should.
Thing is, I'm not exactly relapsing...but I'm certainly not recovering. Not by miles. I suppose I'm trying to, but really, that's only my vague attitude - I'm not putting it into practice. And I need to DO something about it. And I don't think I could do that alone.
So, if you're there, let me know. Let's talk. Let's do this blogging shit!
