Flats and Jobs - Oh Bugger

Right, so, complications.
I agreed with a friend in Moscow that I would move in with her after her flatmate moved out - the only problem being that the current flatmate was moving out in May, and I wouldn't be arriving until September. No problemo, we thought, she knew someone who might want to come and live the summer with them. Except, it turned out that person didn't want to do that.
So they were left with an empty room and extra rent to pay, and nobody to help them pay it. I reluctantly offered to pay if it came to that, since it's kinda my fault that they can't just get a long-term tenant in; although I feel she should have known this might happen when she agreed to let me move in in September. Nobody's fault, really, but I do feel partially responsible which is why I offered to pay.
For a few weeks I heard nothing, so assumed that all was well and they'd found a flatmate for the summer after all. Messaged her yesterday just checking in, and got a reply today saying no, they haven't found anyone. Someone has been there for July, but that didn't pay for the room being empty in June, and it won't cover August either. Her landlady is now demanding the money.
I'm going to borrow it from my parents and wire it over to her, because I don't see another way out of this. I don't want to leave them hanging by saying "ok get a long-term tenant in" and dropping everything; but at the same time, I'm pissed off that it has come to this. It was so simple when we arranged it, and now everyone's so stressed out over it. She and her boyfriend (the 3rd housemate) have had 2 tiring and stressful months trying to find a summer tenant, and I now can't book flights for New Zealand in January because I can't do that *and* send them rent money. Gargh. And most of all, I'm worried that this is going to tarnish our friendship and make living with them awkward. That's the last thing I want/need. Everything was going so swimmingly between us and now, it's all gone understandably tense.

And then, my wonderful job fell through, and I've got to do another one for admittedly similar pay but considerably harder work - nannying a 7-year-old boy rather than a 12-year-old girl. The family also want me to work until 10pm which I cannot understand, because the kid will surely be in bed long before that, so I'm trying to negotiate getting off at 9. I need evenings for rehearsals, and seeing my Russian friends so I can actually learn some Russian! Bloody hell, why did it suddenly get so difficult.

Tempted to just give up emotionally and see this as yet another example of why I shouldn't get my hopes up about anything. But I can't afford to do that. I need hope right now. I need it. Last time I gave up hope I saw afterwards that it was a mistake, one that I don't want to make again. Must keep going. 

Name Change and Other Developments

Since I'm no longer at Oxford (not possible!!) I think it's time to do away with 'Oxford Blues'. I think I was the only person who got the pun anyway.

Besides, I shall now be blogging about different things. Still depression, still eating disorder recovery, but now in the big wide world rather than the insane, manic bubble that is Oxford University. It was a challenge in itself, but I've survived it, and my life is changing.

On September 1st I'll be flying out to Moscow to start a new life for a year. Yes, I'll be coming back to Britain after that year to do an MA in Interpreting and Translating at Bath (if they'll have me), but I intend to return to Russia when I've done that. It's where the work is, it's where the fun is, it's where the Russian is.

My job that I had set up fell through a few days ago: I was going to be nannying a 12-year-old girl from a family so VIP that the contract stated I wasn't allowed to tell anyone their surname, and teaching her English in preparation for going to Swiss boarding school. Then Family X, as I call them, suddenly decided they only needed a part-time nanny, not full-time as I was going to be. Well, I say full-time; that is, out-of-school hours 4 days a week and one day at the weekend. They would also take me on holiday with them to Italy for two months in the summer and continue to pay me, thank you very much. So I was pretty bummed when they pulled out of the deal, to say the least.

Fortunately, I did have a fall-back, and my boss very generously looked into some alternatives for me too. I shall soon have a Skype interview with a new family, also VIP according to the agency I contacted (called 'Prestige', which tells you all you need to know about their clientele), so we'll see how this pans out. It's basically the same job but with a much younger child, 5 years old, and I have no experience of working with children - eek! They know this perfectly well having seen my CV, but whatevs, employing me is their call. The pay would be £36k (ker-ching!) plus any overtime I worked by going on holiday with them. I know right, tough job but someone's gotta do it? Yeah.

I'm also going to be acting a lot and teaching drama at the Moscow English Drama School, which is a joke because I've never been to drama school. My training goes as far as Drama GCSE (that's age 15 for those outside England). Luckily the school is not training professionals, but just using drama as a way for Russians to improve their English, and allowing expats to socialise in a fun and creative way. Just as well, really, given that I have no technique whatsoever. The only technique (if you can call it that) which I am familiar with is all Stanislavski, having studied him in my theatre module at Oxford, but I'm hardly going to teach his 'system'. There's no such thing and anyway, it was designed for over-emotional Russians, not tight-laced Englishmen. I'm halfway through 'Trusting the Actor' by Brian Astbury, a friend's old drama tutor from East 15; his theory is that, quite the opposite to Russians, English actors need to think less and feel more, and I quite agree. So that will be my goal, despite having a mixed class of compatriots and Muscovites. We'll see how it goes...

On the eating disorder side of things, well, it's mixed. I've had a stomach upset for over a week now, diagnosed today as indigestion (i.e. acid reflux) and basically haven't been able to eat. I've lost not a lot but not an insignificant amount of weight - ED is loving it, recovery brain is banging its head on the table. So very very triggered to keep restricting even when I can eat again, you know how it goes - I'll just lose a bit more and then I'll stop - but I cannot allow myself to fall into that cycle again. Anorexia kills, full stop, and I don't want my parents to have to bury me. So, onwards and upwards.