Hey guys :)
So, it's the last week of term, my last ever Easter term at Oxford. I'm not especially weirded out by that, I think I'll be ready to leave Oxford at the end of the year. It's not that I'm sick of it, but I think I will have had enough by the end. 4 years seems about right. Time for a new start.
Had my last ever tutorial last week, which was a massive relief (I hate tutorials, in case you hadn't picked up on that). And then reports yesterday, which wasn't too bad I suppose. Some were better than expected, one was much worse than expected, but what can you do? At least it's over now. Last time I ever have to go through that reports process, where you go into the room with all the tutors sitting there and they read out your reports in front of everybody... D= It's horrific. But don't have to do that ever again!
Of course, the price for all these things I never have to do again, is Finals. Hmm, Finals. That's the reason everything is ending - it's preparation for the massive exams, probably the biggest I've done so far, and probably the biggest I'll ever do.
Frankly, I'm not too stressed about them so far. Tbh, compared to recovery from depression and an eating disorder, Finals look like just a silly little set of exams. xD I'm sure it won't last though... I'm currently in the middle of my European Cinema dissertation, which counts as an exam, so that's pretty stressful, but at least it's a topic that enjoy - I get to write about my favourite Russian director and actor =)
The other thing I'm doing at the moment is a little interpreting job I managed to land myself in at the theatre; there's a Russian company touring The Tempest and none of them speak any English, so the staff at the Oxford theatre needed some help. They've got a technical interpreter who tours with them, but frankly one person isn't enough for a cast and crew that size! It's a pretty good job, especially since it's super hard to get any interpreting work without an MA, so it'll look great on my CV. And, of course, it's always good for my Russian. Plus the cast is ridiculously attractive, which makes it easier to motivate myself xD Lol! (So true though. They are ridiculously attractive.) Except there was one guy I was talking to who was so fit I just forgot how to speak Russian, which was embarrassing (luckily he was very nice about it, haha). And, you know, I like being in theatres, I feel like it's a good place to be even if I'm not acting. What's nice about this, as opposed to stage managing Troilus and Cressida (which I auditioned for but didn't get) is that I'm not horrendously jealous of the cast, because I never auditioned for this show. So I don't feel like these are all the people who were chosen over me, you know? I'm seeing the show tomorrow night and I'm really excited, it looks from backstage like it must be fab from the audience's POV. There's A LOT of water, lol, the poor actors get very wet indeed. Must make sure I don't sit in the front row or I might get wet too!
Anyway, I should get off Blogger and get on with my dissertation. So knackered though. There were drinks after the show last night, and I was the only person there who spoke both Russian and English so I was much in demand, then I went for cocktails with a friend afterwards and didn't get home til about 12:30. Then managed to forget to take my meds, so I lay awake for about an hour before realising, took them, and then it was another hour before I got to sleep *sigh* Yeah, I woke up at like midday today... Oops. So yes, really must work to make up for sleeping in all morning...
xxx
So, it's the last week of term, my last ever Easter term at Oxford. I'm not especially weirded out by that, I think I'll be ready to leave Oxford at the end of the year. It's not that I'm sick of it, but I think I will have had enough by the end. 4 years seems about right. Time for a new start.
Had my last ever tutorial last week, which was a massive relief (I hate tutorials, in case you hadn't picked up on that). And then reports yesterday, which wasn't too bad I suppose. Some were better than expected, one was much worse than expected, but what can you do? At least it's over now. Last time I ever have to go through that reports process, where you go into the room with all the tutors sitting there and they read out your reports in front of everybody... D= It's horrific. But don't have to do that ever again!
Of course, the price for all these things I never have to do again, is Finals. Hmm, Finals. That's the reason everything is ending - it's preparation for the massive exams, probably the biggest I've done so far, and probably the biggest I'll ever do.
Frankly, I'm not too stressed about them so far. Tbh, compared to recovery from depression and an eating disorder, Finals look like just a silly little set of exams. xD I'm sure it won't last though... I'm currently in the middle of my European Cinema dissertation, which counts as an exam, so that's pretty stressful, but at least it's a topic that enjoy - I get to write about my favourite Russian director and actor =)
The other thing I'm doing at the moment is a little interpreting job I managed to land myself in at the theatre; there's a Russian company touring The Tempest and none of them speak any English, so the staff at the Oxford theatre needed some help. They've got a technical interpreter who tours with them, but frankly one person isn't enough for a cast and crew that size! It's a pretty good job, especially since it's super hard to get any interpreting work without an MA, so it'll look great on my CV. And, of course, it's always good for my Russian. Plus the cast is ridiculously attractive, which makes it easier to motivate myself xD Lol! (So true though. They are ridiculously attractive.) Except there was one guy I was talking to who was so fit I just forgot how to speak Russian, which was embarrassing (luckily he was very nice about it, haha). And, you know, I like being in theatres, I feel like it's a good place to be even if I'm not acting. What's nice about this, as opposed to stage managing Troilus and Cressida (which I auditioned for but didn't get) is that I'm not horrendously jealous of the cast, because I never auditioned for this show. So I don't feel like these are all the people who were chosen over me, you know? I'm seeing the show tomorrow night and I'm really excited, it looks from backstage like it must be fab from the audience's POV. There's A LOT of water, lol, the poor actors get very wet indeed. Must make sure I don't sit in the front row or I might get wet too!
Anyway, I should get off Blogger and get on with my dissertation. So knackered though. There were drinks after the show last night, and I was the only person there who spoke both Russian and English so I was much in demand, then I went for cocktails with a friend afterwards and didn't get home til about 12:30. Then managed to forget to take my meds, so I lay awake for about an hour before realising, took them, and then it was another hour before I got to sleep *sigh* Yeah, I woke up at like midday today... Oops. So yes, really must work to make up for sleeping in all morning...
xxx
The end of uni can be super-stressful, but it sounds like you have a good sense of perspective about it right now, and--though it may be difficult to do so--I really hope you can maintain that perspective throughout the process. I put myself under a lot of pressure coming towards the end because, having been depressed during nearly all of my time at Cambridge, I felt like I would've gained nothing from the experience whatsoever if I didn't perform well in my finals.
ReplyDeleteI remember being constantly anxious for months, all the way from writing my dissertation at this time of year through to the end of exams in the summer. Funnily enough, that's not really a good recipe for weeks of sustained concentration, especially while being depressed. By the end, it became one of the most profoundly miserable times of my life, and even though I did get the good results I wanted, I'd be quite happy to have the whole experience wiped from my memory forever. So yeah, if you can avoid that happening you should totally do that :) Best of luck as always, Liza.
P.S. Tutors together in a room reading your reports aloud in front of everyone...why has your college adopted evaluation procedures based so closely on my nightmares? Seriously, I might actually have curled up into a ball and died on the spot if I had to go through that, and I'm sorry that you endured such an awful thing. Good riddance!