Jesus Christ, at this rate I'll never act again. 6th audition, 6th rejection. Time to face up to the fact that I'm just not that good?
And I *really* wanted this one. It was for Troilus & Cressida, an obscure Shakespeare play about war between the Greeks and Trojans - sounds dull, I know, but I actually like it. I thought it would go well with doing Chekhov in Russian next term - a bit of Shakespeare to round off the thespian repertoire, lol. But evidently not.
So yes, I will be in a Russian reading of the Seagull, and this is highly cool. But it's not much compensation because a) I got the part because I'm a willing Russian-speaker, not because I'm a good actor, and b) it's only a reading, not a proper production. Not the same at all.
The audition for T&C was really hard, so on reflection it's hardly surprising they didn't want me. I just wasn't able to pull off that character, very confident and a skilful politician apparently. I had to do the same monologue 3 times, each time in a different way, which is never easy, and then trying to appear confident at the same time... yeah, I wasn't so much able to do that.
Time for me to go listen to some Hans Zimmer. Everyone says not to be discouraged, but how the hell am I supposed to carry on going to auditions when EVERY SINGLE ONE I've done this term has been "thanks for auditioning, we were very impressed but unfortunately we're not able to use you"? See, many people have told me I'm a good actor, and I used to take their word for it (kind of), but now I'm wondering whether they weren't just being nice.
This sucks.
Gosh that honestly sucks, you really have been putting yourself out there and things just haven't been working out...who wouldn't be getting discouraged, rejections are so hard to deal with. I honestly don't think its because you're not talented, it is just the type of person they are looking for. Even the best of actors have a style, they can't just play any part, so try not to beat yourself up too much about that.
ReplyDeleteActing is what makes you happy, so giving up wouldn't do any good, that would actually give you no chance in being apart of those plays. As hard as it is, just keep trying for parts, you will get there. Sounds like that book could be useful in working through these rejections so keep along with that, but most of all just hang in there, keep that chin up. xoxo
I'm sorry for all the rejections you've gotten, it has got to be pretty discouraging :/ But probably the worst thing you can do at a time like this is to doubt yourself. Don't question all the praise you've gotten from people, it will only shake your confidence..
ReplyDeleteI'm not good at taking compliments and can't force myself to accept one if I don't want to, even if I deserve it. But occasionally just the right person tells you something you didn't expect to hear, and it makes you believe in yourself again.
I know this sounds a bit cheesy but with depression we often unconsciously look for the bad things (snide remarks/ rejection/ etc.) like we expect to fail. But we also have to look for the good things sometimes :] Don't lose faith and keep believing in yourself. I haven't seen you act, but I sure would like to sometime :))
Isn't it also possible like Michelle said, that they are just looking for a different person(ality) for a role? And how many people audition for a play? I would suspect that they have many, and aren't able to accommodate but a small percentage of them.
Stay strong =]